everything will be alright

I've been laying here on the floor, trying to forget about the adventures we planned. The days I imagined we'd spend on the road. But I can only forget so much, when his pictures hang on my walls, and his shirt is folded in my drawer. 

And the necklace he put around my neck, I took it off for the first time today. My fingers haven't stopped searching for the charm just above my heart. Suddenly I feel so naked & confused. And I dreamt last night that he left me, but the cameras from my nightmare never stopped rolling when the sun came up this morning. & I wonder how it felt to tell me he loved, moments before he knew he was going to shatter me into a million pieces, like some thin piece of glass, left unswept under an untouched bookshelf.  

And the world seems so strange to me today. As if it stopped spinning & I'm stuck in place... I wonder if he is too. 

But hey, I've got to thank him, because I learned today that lovers can turn into strangers, in just 1 call. He painted me a beautiful picture, but when the smoke & mirrors fell away, all that stood was an empty canvas. He showed me, "I love you" isn't a promise, and that promises can be broken as easily as they're made. And boys with pretty eyes & even prettier words, they can push you to the top of the world, and drag you to the bottom just to leave you lost & alone again. 

So next time I'll know, that if you're willing to give your whole heart away, you must also be willing to let the whole thing break. 

And I know what I already know, that everything will be alright, 

I just thought that it was going to be alright, 

with him.