I must've looked so silly, staring at him the way I did. I wonder if he knew, how much he shook my world just by being in it.
I wonder if I sent him all these letters filled with my undying devotion, if he'd sit down and read them, and laugh under his breath thinking about all the time I spent writing them. & I must look so silly now, talking about how much I love my blue eyed boy. Trying not to call him, the boy who broke my heart. I must seem so delusional, talking about him as if he still wanted to be my best friend. As if the only man I've ever loved as much as I do, hadn't erased my plans & shattered my dreams just this afternoon. And I'm feeling sorry for myself, but that's just foolish, because when he told me that I deserved a great man, I believed him. I believed him the whole time he let me go, a man, who didn't think I was good enough to keep.
How silly it must look, to love as hard as I love him.
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