lonely, but never alone

I've been alone so long, you'll have to be patient when I tighten my fingers around your hand when you have to go. & when I say goodbye one too many times, just smile, this is the last, I promise. I'll miss you when you leave more than you'll ever know how to miss me, so just let me. But don't try to save me, I don't need it. When I call you at 1 a.m. wanting to fall asleep to your voice, know that then, I do need you. But you'll never hear me beg. I'm the girl who grew to never need anyone, and found herself suddenly needing you. I'm the girl who sat alone at lunch & cried a river through the weeks made of hard days. But I'm also the girl who built herself a boat, and pushed off the shore of the yesterday's behind her. I'm the girl that's been her own best friend for so long, she's forgotten how to open her door to another. Instead, I've been opening my windows & jumping to the ground, landing on my knees & running in my bare feet, getting closer to the sun everyday.
I'm the stubborn girl with a melted heart & the girl you passed in the hallway, never knowing my name. But once you love me, you'll find me in your favorite songs, and in the clouds above your head. You'll taste my lips in cold strawberries, and see my brown eyes in the reflections of stranger's faces. You'll swear that you never thought you'd fall for a girl like me. A girl who's got a yesterday that'll break your heart, & a 2 a.m. that'll piece it back together. A girl afraid of heights, that just wants to feel the rush of the water below. A walking perplexity that drives you half insane. A girl that's been walking by herself for so long, she never stopped to realize that there would come a day that a guy like you would take hold of her hand, and never want to let go. Forever, to the end. All the way down, down to the water below.