love, Mathew's daughter

My father's high school English teacher once told him he would not amount to anything. 

She asked him why he thought he should even attend her class. I'm sure he did something to the effect of shrugging his shoulders, he's not the kind of man to pick a fight that isn't worth fighting. 

But if given the opportunity, I'd stand in front of her & defend everything he is as easily as I breathe. I'd look her straight in the eye & ask her who she thinks she is. 

Who my father is & who he would become. 

if she really knew him, & if she really knew herself, she'd see how ridiculous those words must've sounded shooting from her mouth. 

If she saw the man I know, & the footsteps I've walked in. If she could hear the cheers of encouragement, and feel the way I do when he's held my hand when I'm not strong enough alone. If she could see the work he does for the family under the roof he keeps. If she could see the love in his eyes for my mama. If she could see the boy in his heart that has never given up. If she could see the Mathew I know,

then, she would believe that the day she told my father, the man that would come to raise sons & daughters to see a world of endless potential that he would amount to so little, 

was surely the day she turned mad. 

and if she could still look in his eyes of blue & say those same words, 

well I would just have to turn the other cheek & get on with living my life. 

Because that is how my father raised me. 

& That, miss, is what he has amounted to. 

welcome home.

& this land I live on is nothing but a plot of grass placed here by God, 

I call it home, but I would never call it mine 

I don't own the dirt here or the flowers that bloom from it 

I don't own the sky I grow under & I don't own these roads I travel.

& the oceans that separate my backyard from another's is not a barbwire fence, & I feel so sorry for anyone who believes it to be a barrier, they must be going through life with only half a brain. 

And the color of my skin might be different from yours, but it is not my name or my personality, and neither is yours. 

Because when the rain falls, it will drench you, no matter who you are. 

When the sun shines, it burns, despite the color that stains your body. 

& the same God that laid my home here, placed you here too. You are a living, breathing, beautiful, human being.

That makes you nothing short of a miracle, and I'd sure like to get to know you. Seeing as how the king of all creation placed us both here on this earth, I'd say we must have something in common. So come on over. Leave your shoes at the door, I'll pour you some lemonade & walk you home when it gets dark. 

my name is Madeleine, by the way. 

 It's so nice to meet you. 

lonely, but never alone

I've been alone so long, you'll have to be patient when I tighten my fingers around your hand when you have to go. & when I say goodbye one too many times, just smile, this is the last, I promise. I'll miss you when you leave more than you'll ever know how to miss me, so just let me. But don't try to save me, I don't need it. When I call you at 1 a.m. wanting to fall asleep to your voice, know that then, I do need you. But you'll never hear me beg. I'm the girl who grew to never need anyone, and found herself suddenly needing you. I'm the girl who sat alone at lunch & cried a river through the weeks made of hard days. But I'm also the girl who built herself a boat, and pushed off the shore of the yesterday's behind her. I'm the girl that's been her own best friend for so long, she's forgotten how to open her door to another. Instead, I've been opening my windows & jumping to the ground, landing on my knees & running in my bare feet, getting closer to the sun everyday.
I'm the stubborn girl with a melted heart & the girl you passed in the hallway, never knowing my name. But once you love me, you'll find me in your favorite songs, and in the clouds above your head. You'll taste my lips in cold strawberries, and see my brown eyes in the reflections of stranger's faces. You'll swear that you never thought you'd fall for a girl like me. A girl who's got a yesterday that'll break your heart, & a 2 a.m. that'll piece it back together. A girl afraid of heights, that just wants to feel the rush of the water below. A walking perplexity that drives you half insane. A girl that's been walking by herself for so long, she never stopped to realize that there would come a day that a guy like you would take hold of her hand, and never want to let go. Forever, to the end. All the way down, down to the water below.