Gosh, I love him so much, that when I try to think of some way of explaining how my heart burns for him, I feel like I'll burst in a million different directions. And I know you're probably tired of hearing about it, but it's all I ever think about these days.
I have so much love to give him, that it's almost frustrating - you know? Is that crazy? I swear I'm constantly laughing and shaking my head at myself since I met him.
Words good enough for the way he makes me feel, they just haven't been made yet.
And I could pretend all day that I'm independent, but just between you & me, he completes a part of me that I had no idea was left incomplete. It's like the day I met him, was the first day of the rest of my life. & wherever I end up, I hope he's there too. I could come to him utterly crushed by the world, and he'll pick me up & put me right on top of it. A day gone without hearing his voice Is a day left unfinished.
He tells me he loves me, and I really believe him. Do you even know how wonderful that is? And he loves God. I love that. I love that when I think of him, I get butterflies like it's the first day of summer. And you should hear his voice in the morning. It's the sweetest thing I've ever known. Gosh, I sound like I've got a middle school crush, don't I? It's funny though, after all this time, when he walks into the room, he still stops me in my tracks.
He smiles at me, and I forget how to speak. I ask him if he'll marry me, If we're still here in a few short years. I ask him all the time, like he can promise it to me.
Maybe he thinks I'm half joking, because I smile so big every time I say it. But I can't help myself, because I want him more than anything in the world. I'll keep asking him forever, and he'll keep kissing my forehead & talking about our future like we have an idea. But you know, I really think we will. I really, really do. Just watch, you'll see.
& Our bridge, we'll keep building it, promising never to burn it. And when I find my genie, every wish I spend will be spent on my baby. I'm only half of myself when he's gone. I get it now.
I understand how home, when you've met the right one, becomes a person, not a place. He's everything. He's home.
So I love him. And I'm young & naive, but I don't care what anyone thinks.
I might never find the right words, but as long as he's there holding my hand, I promise to never stop looking.
There's just something about Austin.
Something that feels like home.
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