c o n f u s i o n

I think 

at times

  I am confusing

 to love

When I say I'm yours, I mean I am yours forever. I hold on so tight. The kind of tight that turns your knuckles a pale white, and makes your hands shake, because unless you do me wrong, when I come along, I'm here to stay. I will pour every drop of passion I have in my soul into the palm of your hand if you'll let me. But when you say you love me, I'll silently hope that you'll just read my mind & know that I need to hear you say it, everyday. I guess I'm too stubborn to tell you. & I guess a part of me is just so used to being alone, that since I fell for you, I still feel like it's a dream. Like I've got you, but I don't always have you. I hope you mean it, because once I'm gone, I'm not coming back. And thats crazy to say, because the thought of you leaving makes me sick, but I know after some time, I'd be ok. And that's a beautifully dangerous thing. To be ok alone. I think that scares people. Or maybe it just confuses them, that at my age, I don't mind going at it by myself. I'm all or nothing in every aspect of my life. I feel everything. The things you say, they go straight through my heart & they leave markings. Good & bad. I fall hard, cry hard, laugh hard, and love hard. I want unconditional, crazy, once in a lifetime love. You-above-everything love. And I promise to always give it right back to you. I will love you until my bones ache. I will love you until the end of forever, however long that may be. I will love you. I will love you longer & brighter & better than you ever thought you could be loved.  I will love you.
I will love you, but I will never compete. Maybe that's my charm. I'm a loyal lover not afraid to be a runner. A walking contradiction. I'll be your firecracker, so long as you'll be my match.
That must be confusing.
 From time to time.
 So very confusing,
to love me, the way you do.