hello / goodbye

I never loved airport terminals before,

not the way I did the night

you hugged me hello 

surrounded by tall windows filled with stars

& strangers waiting for their someone

just like I was waiting 

for you

I stood with my fingers tangled together 

and my sneakers anxiously tapping the florescent light reflecting floors

sighing at the sight of every suitcase being pulled by anyone but you

then suddenly,

there you were.

I watched you walk 

with that old backpack

slung over your shoulders. 

I ran to you & you caught me

you keep doing that,

catching me.

I wrapped my arms around your neck 

& laughed when my words got caught in my throat

you smelled just like I remembered 

but your eyes, somehow they looked even better

 & gosh, your arms felt like crashing

back into the half of myself that's been lost

like my chest finally let me breathe a full breath again

you held my hand the whole way home

and all I could think 

was that nothing 

in all my life

has ever felt more lovely than being there 

with you 

 /

I laid my tired head on your shoulder

and let the tears fall   

& all I could think 

was that nothing has ever hurt as much 

as letting you go 

you held my hand the whole way there

but it was so much different than before

you pressed my shaking shoulders to your chest 

and kissed me one last time,

whispered I love you,

and I let you go.

I watched you walk

with that old backpack 

slung over your shoulders

until I lost you in the crowd

surrounded by strangers just like me 

hugging their someone goodbye

I turned to go,

and looked over my shoulder just one last time

wishing that you might come back and catch me 

the way you do

but you didn't 

you couldn't 

so I rode home 

with my hand clasped to the necklace you placed around my neck 

so many nights before

and smiled a sad smile.

I never ached in an airport terminal before,

not the way I did early the morning

you hugged me goodbye